Friday, January 22, 2010

My Own Two of Swords Situation

This week's Intuitive Tuesday card was the Two of Swords, a card of being stuck between your thoughts. I have been stuck between my thoughts on a decision about if and how to continue writing a weekly column I have in our local paper, The Grand Junction Daily Sentinel.

Having a public relations background, my idea to write the column was originally to get exposure and create a better understanding of the power of life coaching. So many people thought it was like counseling or consulting...but coaching and different and very powerful to help people create their lives instead of simply responding to what happens in their lives.

The article most often revolves around a fictitious client story line where I would dialogue with the client to peel apart and explore what was keeping them stuck and together come up with ways to move forward.

The column has kept my name and face in the community without having to do a lot of networking events or advertising. My ego LOVES it when someone walks up and says, "I read your column. I loved the one about such and such. I think you were talking about me!" OR "I cut out your column on such and such and have it hanging on my fridge."

I have clients that I've gained through the newspaper and what I hear most often is, "I've been reading your column for months and finally felt it was time to contact you." Great! My public relations is working!

What I've found along the way is that I used to write the column to coach (find clients) and then I coached to gain experience and ideas for my column. Now, I'm not sure which is driving which.

Over the holidays, after 2 1/2 years of writing the column, I got an intuitive hit that something needed to shift. So many questions came up:
  • Is the time I invest in writing the column worth it? Am I truly gaining clients? Is that still important to me?
  • Have I established my credibility (at least in this market) both as a life coach and also for the profession?
  • Am I able to truly express my authentic voice in my column? This newspaper has a fairly mainstream audience so mentioning some of the things I get intuitively are watered down with phrases like, "I get a sense..." or "I feel that such and does that land for you?" Perhaps the format I've created, that has been working, now feels a bit stifling.
  • And perhaps a bit more personal (and important), I want to be as available for my husband and kids. The window for me to be influential in the boys' lives is slowly closing as they finish middle school and head off to high school and possibly college. I don't want to miss this time with them.
And the thing that got my attention BIG TIME was when my husband said, "You don't need to push yourself so hard. Why don't you take a sabbatical? Take more time to be with the boys, be more involved with their schooling, college preparation, study yoga, write your blog, etc. Then he said, "The toughest thing for you (being as Type A as I am) would be to take some time off." Wow! Is that true!

How many times in your life are you offered such an opportunity?

My friend, Laura, did an intuitive reading for me and said this is a 7 year for me, which represents a time of inner reflection, much like taking a sabbatical. Again...I can barely imagine taking time off. What is life without a To Do list?

And so, my thoughts have been pondering around all of these questions (and more). The Two of Swords energy for sure.

I've pulled cards, asked my Intuition Through Tarot group for a reading, had several intuitive friends give me their impressions and yet I haven't quite landed on quitting it altogether.

For now, I've decided to continue to write the column (because I haven't decided NOT to). Remember NOT to decided is to decide.

I continue to write, to take advantage of the 30,000+ weekly newspaper readers (plus online readers) with the goal of writing with my authentic voice. Perhaps shifting it ever so slightly to include more metaphysical ideas, Law of Attraction concepts, intuitive hits, and weave more of the true ME into the (supposedly) mainstream work that I do.

I have two sides practical/mainstream and intuitive/metaphysical. But these are just two facets of a larger whole. I am a healer and messenger, no matter how or where I express myself.

The King of Coins message for me (the card I pulled on Thursday) is to step back and look at this from a business standpoint and see that I have a platform and as long as I feel free to deliver the messages I am given, I should keep moving forward. Being a Divine Messenger is a major part of my purpose in this matter how or when that shows up. No matter what role I am playing at the time.

Manage. Lead. Manage. Lead.

And so it is (at least for now)...


Tami said...

Perhaps a difficult thing is when your intuition is telling you to do something that your logic fights with swords.

Just because you "know" what you should do doesn't mean you always have to do it. And it doesn't mean that you have to do it NOW. You will learn the lessons you are here to learn no matter which path you take to get there.

It is OK to keep writing ... until you decide. As long as you are honoring yourself by writing with your authentic voice.

If and when it is time to jump, you will know. And you will jump. And the path will clearly lay out before you.

(What's life without a To Do list? Are we even related? :)

Mad Hatter said...

Hmmmm, your post got me thinking - perhaps it's not one choice or the other. Could it not be that there is another, not yet apparent option? For example, how about a monthly column? 12 columns versus 52 would allow for more time for your family, and opportunities to explore other ways to grow. And yet you keep your readership and all the things you enjoy about writing a column. Just a thought inspired by you. ;-)

Lori Lavender Luz said...

I can't imagine life without a ToDo list either? Maybe that's genetic.

I really enjoyed reading about your inner dialog about this, about how you put your coaching qualities in action in your own life.


Quiet Dreams said...

I loved reading about your process with the cards you pulled on Tues/Thurs. I'd love to read about your process/how it relates to you again.

Taking relaxing time is hard for me, as well. I tend to fill it up with things that I don't enjoy as much as doing what I really want to do.

chicklet said...

I couldn't survive without a to do list. I'm wayyyyyy too type A:-)

Bonnie said...

As I was reading this something popped in my head so I thought I would share it with you. I was wondering if you have heard of Kurek Ashley and his book "How would love respond?". It is kind of a new refreshing look at the law of attraction. It may not have anything to do with this decision you are or are not (haha) making but it is the first book I've read in a long time, maybe ever that has really transformed the way I look at my life.

LauraRose said...

Thanks for sharing your personal experience with us, Sheri. That may be the most valuable part of the process...allowing yourself to be a role model of transparency!

Kim said...

What on earth is a "to do" list? Do I need one of those???

Sheri - if I may, I have a question. If you were to start a BRAND NEW column, in a brand new paper with brand new readers who are meeting you for the first time... and could write whatever you wanted... what would you write about?