Saturday, March 6, 2010

Teenage Brains: "I Lie Because You Don't Trust Me"

Yes. You read the headline right. "I lie because you don't trust me."

This actually came out of one of my kids' mouths when he was caught lying about a parent being home while he was hanging out at a friend's house.

After getting caught, he said, "I lie because you don't trust me. If you trusted me to be home without a friend's parent, then I wouldn't have to lie."

What? This doesn't make ANY sense to me, but in his teenage mind with his level of logic and experience, he argued as though it made perfect sense to him.

We went round and round with me trying to explain how I do trust him until he lies, while he explained that if I trusted him he wouldn't have to lie.

After all was said and done, I'm not sure either of us agreed with the other, but he still got consequences for lying and I gave him the "Trust Lecture," you know that one that goes like this: "It takes a long time to build up trust and just one incident to lose it." And, "If you'd lie about this, what else might you be lying about?"

I was given this lecture when I was younger (probably more than once), and it did take hold.

As for now, I am hoping that he will learn the lesson that it's better to tell the truth and face the consequences rather than lie in an effort to avoid conflict...or build trust (??) -- neither of which works.

Just another peek into the complicated, convoluted...and humorous teenage brain!

More to come (I'm sure)!

4 comments:

Kristin said...

I know I was a kid and a teenager back in the day but it the things that come out of their mouths still boggle my mind. Too funny.

Quiet Dreams said...

So, "I lie because you won't let me do what I want. If you let me do what I wanted, I wouldn't have to lie about doing it. So just let me do what I want." Is that about right?

Lavender Luz said...

You just took me back 25 (ahem) years.

Maybe those frontal lobes need to grow a little bit longer...it made sense to me at one time, but no longer.

Mind if I give him crap about it today? Teehee.

Bonnie said...

Oh Sheri.. that is such a teenager thing to say!

I love reading stories about your boys because it helps prepare me. My son is 12 and starting to have the hormone fluctuations, some of the things he says to me just boggle my mind.

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