Monday, October 11, 2010

Perfect Moment Monday -- What's Important In Life

Perfect Moment Monday was started by and is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. According to Weebles' creator, Lavender Luz, Perfect Moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between." And so, here is a Perfect Moment for this week.

Last week was the beginning of the middle school basketball season, which commences with tryouts -- three days of playing with all of the kids to find out who will make the all important A Team.

Last year both Bryce and Ryan were on the A Team and had a great season. Their team was undefeated and won the end of the season championship tournament. It was awesome to watch (especially for me because I am a basketball player myself).

This year Ryan made the A Team, and Bryce made the B Team. It's not that their skill levels are hugely different, but Ryan has already had a couple of huge growth spurts, while Bryce has been progressing a bit more slowly (even though they are twins). Right now Ryan is about six inches taller than Bryce...and in basketball, height makes all of the difference in the world.

I got the phone calls on the last afternoon of tryouts. Ryan called and said, "Mom, we're done early with practice. Can you come pick us up?"

I asked excitedly, "Which team did you make?"

"A Team," Ryan said and paused. I knew without asking...but still asked to confirm. Bryce was on the B Team.

Minutes later the phone rang and Bryce was on the phone. He was very upset. "Mom, I didn't make A Team. I'm on B Team...and I'm not going to play. I'm gonna quit!"

Having twins I know that this will happen, but knowing so doesn't make it any easier when it does happen.

That night Bryce was still very upset. So much so that he had a hard time falling asleep. Both Tom and I went in to talk to him, but he did not want to talk.

A few minutes later, he came upstairs and cuddled next to me on the couch. My sweet hubby got the nice cozy blanket from my bed and wrapped us both in it. Somehow just sitting with Bryce was better than any words I could say.

As if from heaven, I realized that I had placed three books next to me on the couch so I could look through them after the boys had gone to bed. These were the journals I kept for each of the boys during their first years of life. I found them earlier that day and wanted to look through them.

There the journals sat, just waiting for me to notice.

I grabbed the one that had Bryce's name on it. He looked up and said, "What's that?" So I explained.

He asked me to read some of it to him...and so I did, beginning with the entry I wrote prior to his birth.

Here's a sample of what I wrote when Bryce was three weeks old:
Dear Bryce -- Just the other night I was looking at your foot and told your Dad that your feet would take you to places we would never see, both geographically and into the future. Your path here will be different form mine and from everyone else, including Ryan.
You have a special purpose, and my job is to teach you what you need to know and help you listen to your inner guidance.
I  believe that listening to your inner self is a difficult thing to learn, even though it's probably one of the most natural things we can do.
I think your inner voice helps you to find your purpose and live a life that takes you toward your purpose, even if at times you are unsure what that purpose is.
No matter how busy your life becomes, always take time to listen to yourself.

We didn't make it very far before Bryce asked to go to bed; he was exhausted.

Spending time together, reading through these thoughts and messages soothed Bryce and helped him find the peace to go to bed and the courage to go to practice the next morning. He chose not to quit.

Seeing him move from feeling completely defeated to finding his courage to continue on, was a Perfect Moment for me (not to mention snuggling with my 13 1/2 year old kid on the couch...because that was pretty perfect too).


Kristin said...

Those moments are truly perfect...both the snuggling and the wisdom.

Lori Lavender Luz said...

Oh, my heart breaks for Bryce, knowing how much he wanted to be on A team.

But what a beautiful moment to refocus instead on what is really important. The inside. That and the love and warmth of a wise mama.

Your words, written so long ago, were just perfect for this moment.