Friday, January 29, 2010

My Own Seven of Coins Situation

I am dealing with my own Seven of Coins (Pentacles) situation with my writing. I talked about the situation here in describing how I am stuck in between my own thoughts (Two of Swords). Thanks to you for all of your great suggestions in response to my post.

Remember the Seven of Coins is a card of perseverance and one that symbolizes a time of contemplating action...and waiting (with faith).

Waiting? Aren't I supposed to be doing something in order to make something happen?

If you remember from my earlier post, my husband (graciously) offered and suggested that I take a sabbatical:

Time off.
No To Do list.
No structure.
No purpose.

OK. The last one is not true. Even without doing something I am still of value, right?

Ever heard the phrase, "We are human BEings, not human DOings?"

One of my favorite quotes from the book Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach, is: "Not every hour is billable."

This is a good reminder to me because when I had kids, and ended up having them SO close -- 17 months and 14 minutes apart (a single and then twins 17 months later), my life became a time management game. Could I get it all done? Even when a wrench got thrown into the plan (several times a day), could I make every single second count?

A common thought was, I have 7 minutes before I have to leave the house, what tasks can I do to most efficiently fill these precious 7 minutes?

As a Type-A achiever, it's so easy to become obsessed by my own productivity. Perhaps there is a support group for this type of affliction: Over Achiever's Anonymous (OAA).

I could just imagine an OAA group support meeting, "Hi. My name is Sheri and before I came to this 9 a.m. meeting, I did yoga, 30-minutes of cardio, took a shower, got a meal in the crock pot, got the kids to school, folded two baskets of laundry, and ironed three shirts, not to mention dropping off the library books on the way to the meeting and going to the recycling center on my way home)."

If you can relate to this, I look forward to meeting you at the next OAA meeting.

So what is SO uncomfortable about emptiness, the void, down time, etc.?

I have started to study the Course In Miracles. (I squeeze it in between yoga and getting the kids to school).  :) If you've ever studied this philosophy, it's an undoing of sorts and a rebuilding of beliefs. The basic foundation is this:
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Herein lies the peace of God.
The other day, I read a quote that hit home for me:
Recognition of meaninglessness arouses intense anxiety in all the separated ones. It represents a situation in which God and the ego "challenge" each other as to whose meaning is to be written in the empty space that meaninglessness provides. The ego rushes in frantically to establish its own ideas there, fearful that the void may otherwise be used to demonstrate its own impotence and unreality. And on this alone it is correct. (Workbook page 21)
And so I ask myself...what is so fearful about the void? Time being empty or not used to its capacity? These are concepts I would surely explore if I had the time.

Maybe I can ponder this in the 4 minutes I'll be on the potty later today.


excavator said...

Wow, Sheri.

Inside, I feel a flinching away from the Void. It's nearly reflexive--a feeling of a need for something to rush in.

When I became a mother the feeling that time was a precious and dwindling commodity intensified. I perceived life as a series of windows closing. It's about Danger, I think. Why is the Void dangerous?

I haven't read your Two of Swords post yet. I think I'll go there now.


MentorTAZ said...

Embracing uncertainty came to me initially and yet I don't know how that fits with what you are saying here. I think when the egoic mind isn't certain of it's future it scrambles to fill the empty space with its own narcissistic value.

"Be Still and KNOW that I AM God." Psalm 46:10 This verse could possibly be the most frightening verse in the bible to the egoic mind.

Once YOU are still YOU will KNOW the I AM and the egoic mind will be silenced in that moment.

Karen Drucker song "You are the HEART, You are the HANDS, You are the VOICE of SPIRIT in the world and all that you are and all that you do is a blessing to the world."

Sheri YOU are a blessing to the world!

Lori Lavender Luz said...

Your last line had me snorting!

I, too, strive to fill every moment. Busy, busy, busy! So much to do. Do, do, do.

The only time I just be is during yoga. And even that is multitasking.

You have inspired me to invite in more stillness, to visit the Void once in awhile.

I'll put it in my planner ;-)

Quiet Dreams said...

This: "As a Type-A achiever, it's so easy to become obsessed by my own productivity."

Yes to this whole post.